I'm Dead
by jason5-evah
Summary: Finn is dead.


Finn Whitman was dead.

He just _had_ to drink that complimentary coke given to him in the Disney Hotel. It's not like he knew it was poisoned! How embarrassing is it to _die_ in front of your friends? _Again_! Finn was never going to live it down.

Anyways, Finn knew he was dead, yet there he was standing in Mainstreet in the middle of the night (Yeah, how _convenient_ is it to die in the middle of the night when there are no park guests around?). The most he could figure out was that his ghost was haunting his DHI. Of course, he was to be doomed to haunting Disneyland. He hated this place. He knew Mr. Toad's Wild Ride was hell, but this was just ridiculous.

He figured there were a few things he needed to do. One, find his friends, which were hopefully in the hotel, but knowing them they were probably in the park trying to find out who murdered their friend. Two, find a way to bring himself back to life. He wasn't sure if Rapunzel was near. If not, he needed another to stop being ghost Finn. And lastly, he needed to find the killer. He wasn't sure which villain killed him, but he had a few guesses. Maybe Ursula or Jafar or even the Evil Queen. Or, like, every other Disney Villain there was in the park.

But then he started thinking about motive. Sure, the villains hated his guts, but they weren't ready to kill him yet, right? They would have to be in hiding for a while. It would be pretty obvious if they stepped outside of the park and into the hotel to poison him. Unless, someone was in disguise… And who would be better at hiding themselves from a crowd other than one of the first evil villains Walt created?

And so, he was off to find the Evil Queen.

"Queeeeennnyy," Finn said knocking on the door. He was currently in the Evil Queen's display in the line waiting for someone to open up. To the outside world, the door in the creepy display was probably just a storage place or something, but to Finn it was the Evil Queen's hideout.

The door opened by itself revealing another staircase. He followed the steps deeper into the attraction. Finally, he was at the door of the Evil Queen's house. If it was even a house. Maybe more like a deserted basement. Or a prison. Probably a prison. But it didn't have a lock so-

He knocked on the door to cut off his thoughts. "Evil Queen? I'm not here to kill you or anything. I need to ask you something!"

He heard her yell, "NO. GO AWAY."

"No, seriously, I need to know if you poisoned me and killed me."

She opened the door. "You're dead?!"

"AM I!?

She paused looking angry. "Yeah, you are definitely dead. I know these things. I can verify. I just don't understand how you're ghost got trapped in your DHI. Strange."

He wasn't sure if he could trust her. He figured if she was right about the dead thing she might admit the whole crime! She probably wasn't expecting him to haunt his DHI. "So… did you kill me?"

She glared at him. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm all for poisoning people, but I wouldn't kill you. My evil plan is definitely not to kill you."

Finn frowned. "So you didn't kill me. Any idea what villain did?"

She waved her hand. "The plan isn't to have you dead. None of the villains planned to kill you. If they did, I would be very mad. Like it or not, you're under a lot of people's protection."

"Well, you suck at the protection part. I'm a ghost haunting my DHI."

She sighed. "Right, sure. I'm just telling you to rule out the Villains here."

"So if I rule out Disney Villains, then what other options are there?"

"Well, Finn. I hate to say it (not really), but maybe you should suspect the people you would never suspect."

Finn got the message. It could be _anyone_. Including the other DHI's. He thought about the OTK's but they weren't a threat anymore. They were back to normal. He sighed and asked one last question, "Any idea how I can come back to life?"

"Go to Mickey's house. He has what you need. You'll know it when you see it. It might surprise you."

"Okay, uh, well, thanks for the help," Finn said like the awkward ghost he was.

"Goodbye, Finn, I hope the next time I see you that you will be on our side," the Evil Queen said.

"Wait, your plan is for me to turn evil?"

"Goodbye!" She slammed the door in his face. He wondered if the reason she didn't let him enter the creepy house basement was to make sure she got to slam the door in his face. Also, the thought occurred to him that she was _way_ more helpful than usual. Could it all just be an act? A lie to put him on the wrong direction? Maybe the real test was to see what she was talking about in Mickey's house and if the killer was someone he'd never suspect.

But at the moment, he had to find out who murdered him (Who cares what the Evil Queen said?). He had to start his investigation had to start somewhere so he figured he would try to find the one person with any real motive.

He ruled out the people with no motive right away: Willa, Charlene, and Jess. They were too… _them_ to want to kill Finn. Amanda wouldn't kill him (if she wanted to she would just use her fairlie powers). Maybeck loved to mess with Finn, but murder isn't his idea as a joke.

Then there was Philby.

Power hungry, insane, red headed Philby.

He would have motive, because he's very power hungry. He's also insane. Plus, he's a fiery red head (kind of). He would _so_ turn Finn into a ghost and blame it on the OTs! Now all Finn had to do was find Philby and get him to admit his crime!

Finn was bummed when it was Maybeck he ran into instead of Philby while walking through Tomorrowland. He figured that land would be the first one Philby would be in since he's such a nerd. It wasn't even a surprise that Philby had sent Maybeck to look for villains there.

Maybeck was shocked to see Finn. In fact, he was so shocked, he dropped his plate of onion rings and fries he brought (stole) from the kitchen in Tomorrowland.

"You're alive!" he said.

"No. I'm a ghost haunting my DHI, I think," Finn said. "I need your help finding out who did this."

"Oh, _hell_ no," Maybeck said. "I wasn't even helping the others find your killer. I was just here for the onion rings and fries. When I heard they caught you, I figured it would be a matter of time till you're revived."

"Wow, you're a jerk."

"A jerk who's hungry."

"Maybeck, do us all a favor and be useful. At least, tell me where Philby is at."

"Oh, he's in Frontierland," Maybeck said. "While you walk over there, if you see Charlene can you tell her I'm in Tomorrowland."

"Just tell her yourself!"

"No! I don't like texting. It's too mainstream."

"Whatever," Finn muttered. He marched off leaving Maybeck cry about his onion rings and fries being spilled on the ground. Least Finn knew for sure, Maybeck wasn't the killer. The Evil Queen wasn't right yet.

As Maybeck's cries faded, Finn was getting close to Frontierland. He spotted Charlene by the castle and told her to find Maybeck. She seemed oblivious to the fact that Finn was a ghost. Typical Charlene. Definitely not the killer.

He entered the gate of Frontierland and saw one of his favorite friends, Willa.

"You look like you've seen a ghost!" he called out to her.

"Yeah, no kidding," she said running up to him. "What the heck is going on? We've been looking for the villain responsible."

"It's not them. Apparently, they want me alive and I'm under their protection. They're just as mad about this as I am, but they aren't going to do anything about it."

"Oh, is it the Evil Finn rumor going around?" Willa asked.

"How did you know about that?"

Willa shrugged. "I just find these things out a lot."

"I need to find Philby," Finn said changing the subject. "Maybeck said he was somewhere in Frontierland."

"Yeah, I just saw him and then two seconds later he ran off without a word."

"Because _he's_ the killer!"

Willa laughed. "You actually think Philby is smart enough for that?"

"He handed me the glass of coke, Willa."

Willa's smiled faded away. "Oh, that's not a good sign. Okay, okay, we can handle this. I mean, I guess I always saw it coming. He's crazy."

"Exactly! So we need to find-"

"Find _who_ exactly," A voice called from behind them. They faced an irritated Philby. "You cannot be seriously considering that I'm the killer."

"I cannot _not_ be considering that you're the killer."

"That literally makes no sense. How are you even here?!"

"Why would you ask that, Philby!? BECAUSE YOU KILLED ME?"

Philby smacked the palm of his hand to his face. "You're an idiot! Why on earth would I do that?!"

"Power. Vengeance."

"Finn, I seriously hate you right now. You _really_ think that I would kill you? I may like the taste of power, but you have none for me to take. You should be focusing on _other_ people."

"Like?"

"I don't know! A _Disney Villain?_ Like, the most obvious killers ever?"

Willa pipped up. "Operation Evil Finn is legit."

Philby's eyes widened with surprise and he nodded understandingly to the subject. "Ah, I see. Protection from OTs?"

"Yup."

"Cool cool."

"Totally."

"THEN WHO KILLED ME!?" Finn yelled, annoyed. He ruled out everyone he knew. He thought back to everyone again just in case. He hadn't seen Jess around…

Just then a voice and running was heard. "Guys! I know who it is! BUT RUN!"

Finn was happy to see Amanda running towards him. Only to realize a second later that she was running from the person chasing her. He couldn't tell who the person was, but they were gaining on Amanda.

The four ran from the mystery attacker until they reached the castle. Amanda turned around and used her power to push the person away from them and they landed on the ground.

The person got up and revealed them self to be none other than:

Storey Ming.

Everyone was so confused.

"Storey?" Finn asked. Then he sighed in relief, "I'm so glad you're not Jess. Like, that would've been super awkward."

"She's got to be Ursula," Philby muttered. "No one looks that crazy without being possessed."

"I'm not possessed!" Storey snapped. "I'm free from that evil sea witch!"

"Then what are you doing here?" Finn asked.

"Getting my revenge!" she yelled a bit too dramatic. "Three years I had to listen to that STUPID UGLY WITCH. No one knew a thing. No one was looking for me. And if they were, they weren't trying hard enough. And after Finn-" she used air quotes, " 'saved me' from Ursula I was sent home with no memory of what happened. _Ohhhh_ , but I remembered after a while. And I realized that all of this was because of you!" she pointed at Finn. "You, of all people, should know about the villains! You should've known that I wasn't the _real_ Storey Ming! WHO MAKES OUT WITH A PERSON THEY JUST MET?! If it weren't for the kingdom keepers then I wouldn't have been needed! They only picked me because they needed a flipping mole!"

"So… you killed me, because even though you're mad at the Disney villains you couldn't get revenge on them so you blamed me? Because that's what I'm getting out of this stupid story."

She paused to think. "Actually, yeah I could've just said that. Anyways, I killed you! AHAHAHAHAA. Wait…" She blinked. " _Why_ are you still here?"

 _Delayed reaction_ , Finn thought. "I don't know. Can you just fall down so Disney Secret Service can take you away?"

"NO! I WILL FIGHT! I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOU FOR RUINING MY LIFE!"

SMACK.

Some wind picked up and Storey Ming was now Storey _fling_. Get it? Because she flew back and fell to the ground.

Finn turned to Philby and said, "Sorry I accused you of being the killer. Also, sorry for saying you were stupid, dumb, annoying, and a power hungry loser."

"Uh, you never said any of those things other than calling me the killer."

"Oh, oops. Well, I was thinking it, because it's true. I mean, uh, sorry."

"Yeah, yeah," Philby mumbled.

"So how do we get ghost Finn back into normal Finn?" Willa asked.

"Well, I think I know how," Finn said smiling at his weird friends.

Back at the hotel room, Finn was back to his live self. It felt so nice to breathe again. He had gone on his own to Mickey Mouse's house to find whatever item the Evil Queen was talking about. All he found was the stupid sorcerer's hat. He put it on and a second later he was awake in the hotel room with all his friends, including the obvious Charlene and the jerk Maybeck.

"So how come the hat revived me when Mickey said he couldn't bring me back to life after I died at the Matterhorn?" Finn asked his friends. So far the Evil Queen was two for two. She was right about the hat bringing him back and she was right about the killer being someone he never would have suspected. Like, regular Storey Ming? A killer? Who knew?

"Are you sure you were dead and not just asleep?" Philby questioned.

"Evil Queen verified it and she didn't look too happy that I was dead," Finn said. "Besides, I wasn't, like, breathing so there's that, right? That's like the definition of dead."

No one said anything.

"Either way, you're back so let's forget it ever happened!" Amanda said. Finn was happy Amanda was able to find Storey Ming and take her down. She was the coolest almost girlfriend ever.

"You guys are missing the big picture! Mickey _lied_ to us. He knew that hat could save me. So why would he let me die?"

"You don't think Mickey sent Storey-" Philby started to say.

" _No way_!" Willa said. "Mickey is a cute mouse. Not an evil mastermind."

"How do we know? We only met him once!" Finn argued. "He lied! I don't know if he sent Storey to get rid of me before I figured it out, but he's hiding something. I'm going to find out what it is."

"Can you not?" Amanda complained.

"I cannot knot."

" _FINN!"_

"I'm just saying that he lied about the hat. What else is there he isn't telling us?"

"NOTHING," Maybeck yelled. "CAUSE HE'S A ******* MOUSE. HE CAN'T SAY ANYTHING."

Charlene laughed. "It's funny, because it's true."

"I'm tired," Philby yawned. "I'm going to bed. Leave me alone. I'm sick of this Evil Mickey conversation. Peace."

And so the keepers went to bed. Finn was alive and well. But Finn was analyzing the situation. The evil Queen was right about the hat. It brought him back. She was also telling the truth of who the killer was: someone unexpected. Maybe she was telling him the truth this entire time. Maybe she could be trusted more than all of them thought? He was just happy he was okay and with Amanda. But the thought still lingered: What was that mouse not telling him?


End file.
